Amnesia

Why do children raised in the church walk away from it when they hit college?  A crucial question which has no simple answers (though Barna takes a shot at answering it).  And asking the kids who have turned away from the faith of their fathers why they have turned will yield useful answers.  But how certain should anyone be about self-reported motives?


One of the wandering youth, in explaining why he "got rid of church" explained:  "I would ask questions, and they would just say it's not important, or have faith."  Really?  His parents, pastor, and youth leaders really said his questions were not important, that he should just have faith?  Hmmm, I suppose it's possible.   But I know lots of parents, and I know lots of youth leaders.  And I do not know any of them to be the sort to dismiss questions in this way.  It's just not in their character.


So, is the kid lying?  Not exactly.  But memory is a tricky, tricky thing.  Especially our subjective memory.  We can seldom remember with any degree of accuracy the events that happen to us.  Does anyone remember the M*A*S*H episode where Hawkeye is Court Martialed for punching Frank Burns?  It's one classic example of subjective memory errors (played with comedic affect).  The brilliant Nassem Talib calls it "retrospective distortion".  Chris Nolan made an entire movie with memory as the theme.


So what do we make of kids leaving church once they leave the nest?  Are there questions which are not answered.  Perhaps.  But could it also be that these kids have been conditioned to expect certainty and satisfaction of all desires?  Let's face it.  Since the Baby Boomers moved to the Baby Busters and beyond, we have become an "instant gratification" culture.  We no longer seem able to cope with disappointment, ambiguity, and delayed gratification.


The poor kid probably did not get satisfactory answers to his questions.  But that may have more to do with the nature of the questions than with the answers themselves.  Some questions simply do not have good answers this side of the veil.  And we do a grave disservice to our kids by leading them to expect that every little question they whine at us will be answered by the end of the show.


So, what's the 


Christian parents who attempt to raise their children in the fear and admonition of the LORD are understandably concerned with wayward sons who choose different paths than the ones on which their parents set them.